The ABC's of ME

I've seen this circulating around the blogs that I read, so I thought I'd tag myself and fill up some blog space.



A is for Age:

41 (where have all the years gone)


B is for Beer:

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww (need I say more)


C is for Career:

Not what I went to college for, but I love it


D is for Dogs name:

No dogs, just cats. Creepy, Girl, Dot, Maddi AND Piggy.


E is for Essential Item I use Everyday:

My toothbrush


F is for Favorite TV Show:

As the World Turns (been watching it since 1983)


G is for Favorite game:

I play Pogo games


H is for Hometown:

Seattle, Washington


I is for Instrument I play:

Does computer count?


J is for Favorite Juice:

Cran-Razz


K is for Whose Butt I'd like to Kick:

No comment, but she knows who she is, and so does her husband


L is for the Last Place I Ate:

Home


M is for Marriage:

Almost 17 years


N is for my Name:

melissa a


O is for Overnight Hospital Stays:

C-Section, 1994


P is for People I was with Today:

My daughter and my (more than) significant other


Q is for Quote:

Love today, Cherish Tomorrow


R is for Biggest Regret:

Refer to "K is for Whose Butt I'd like to Kick"


S is for Sport:

Is computering a Sport?


T is for Time I Woke Up Today:

4 am


U is for Current Underwear:

I think we're getting a bit too personal here


V is for Vegetable you Love:

Steamed Broccoli


W is for Worst Habit:

Cracking my knuckles, been doing it since I was about 8 years old
(used to be smoking ... but I QUIT !!!)


X is for X-Rays I've Had:

Want me to write a book?


Z is for Zodiac:

Every bit a Scorpio

Merry Christmas ...

One of my bloggy friends dad was cutting down a tree and it bucked back on him. He was airlifted to the trauma hospital in his state. It turns out, he is now paralyzed from his waist down.

One of my dearest friends was in a car accident last night. Although, her car was totalled, no one in her family needed to go to the hospital. However her and her family are very shaken.

Another one of my dearest friends is having a very difficult time with her son and keeping him under control. She is just broken hearted that her son is being as mean and difficult as he is. She says he has just ruined the happiness in her home and it has ruined Christmas.

Nick and Annie will be spending their last Christmas here before they move to Germany the first of the year. We are armed with many DVDs and CD's of videos of the babies. We watched a few of them last night, and they're just too darn cute. And VERY well behaved. Baby A will be three on May 1st. She never went through the terrible twos, a wonderful child.

I was feeling really bad that, although my Mom is in my life now, that we will not be spending Christmas together. But I have it good. I have my Mom, I have my Dad, my family are all happy and healthy. I feel really bad that my Mom is going to be by herself on Christmas, but she has been for the last 8 years. I was just hoping that this year would be different for her.

My daughter will be cooking Christmas dinner tomorrow night. Her and I are going to be creating new Christmas traditions as she finds out what dishes of hers are loved by all. I will make my traditional dishes ... you know the ones ... Christmas won't be the same without them. I am also going to make a couple different pies as well. But as for the bulk of the dinner, that will be up to my daughter. I think we'll have a fun time in the kitchen together.

My family and friends who read this blog ... I love you all. I hope you all have a great Christmas. To all my regular lurkers, I hope you and yours have a memorable Christmas as well.

It is now Christmas Eve, and I can say with all certainty that I am completely ready for Christmas tomorrow. I got off cheap this year !!!

Merry Christmas all ...

Do I really need to name each post???

Yesterday we had a wind storm. Okay, we've had about 8 now since the beginning of November. That's my count, but I'm sure I'm pretty accurate. I told my Mom when we first met that in the past couple years we hadn't had many wind storms, but this year is MUCH different. Most of them have been pretty normal, but the one that blew in yesterday was a DOOZY!!!

The power went out at work about 2:20 yesterday afternoon, so I closed down and came home. A few minutes before I made it home, the power went out. Not a problem for me, but when you're twelve, and have no power it really bites. I took a nap. My daughter woke me about 8:30 last night and the winds had picked up really bad. We talked for a while, and then tried to sleep, but it was raining branches on our roof ... no, it was pouring branches on our roof. It started out with small ones and gradually the bigger branches were banging on our roof.

I'm a chicken when it comes to wind storms. We have a bunch of trees behind our house and a few have landed on our house, so we got up and left. I have a friend that lives pretty close to me, and she doesn't have any tree threat, and was kind enough to offer shelter. I had a horrible nights sleep, a different place, but I didn't have to listen to the branches hitting the roof. I thought for sure that we were going to have a tree on our roof when we got home, but we were very lucky. Maria is in Texas, and she's usually my rock during times like this. I'll sure be happy when she gets home.

On another note:

I have been thinking quite a bit about E and meeting her. I think I'm coming around. My Mom can be quite persuasive ... gotta love her.

I hope everyone is doing well ...

Oh yeah ... we got our power turned back on within 24 hours of it first going out. The storm didn't actually end until mid morning this morning. So the power crews worked very diligently to get us up and running. I heard the internet is out from Portland to Olympia and from Tacoma to Bellingham. We ride piggy back on those fiber optic lines, so we don't have any DSL, but I'm happy to report dial up is still going. The one time I can praise dial up !!!

E ... one of my siblings

My Mom had six kids. Three of which were put up for adoption and the other three she raised. They have their own lives, and don't keep in contact with my Mom. I can not imagine why anyone would choose to not keep in touch with this sweet woman. One of them, the youngest, I'll call E, just got in touch with her. My Mom wants E and me to get to know each other but has not yet told her kids about us. So this is probably going to be a really sticky situation. Anyway, this post isn't about all of this, but it builds the foundation of what I want to talk about. I think I want to have this as a topic because I need to work it out in my own mind.

I don't think there is any doubt in anyones mind how I feel about my Mom. Right now, I feel like I have her to myself. I love that about our relationship. I am enjoying the time we spend together, almost on a daily basis, getting to know each other. The more I learn about her, the more I love her. She is such a strong person and as I told her, I want to be her when I grow up.

I have known about the three children she had and kept for about 10 years now. During my search, I never really thought about talking with them. I'm not sure if I really had an interest in talking with them. Which is strange, because my brother that was put up for adoption, I absolutely adore him. I feel a bond with him that I'm not sure I'll feel with the other ones.

I think if E joins in our duo it will change the dynamics of our relationship. It doesn't bother me that my Mom talks with Elizabeth by herself, I just don't want to be involved with that. At least that's how I feel now, I don't know how I'll feel in a couple months, or a year down the road. I want to be selfish and have my Mom to myself for the time being. I don't think that is too much to wish for considering I had to wait 41 years for this.

I told my Mom that I can't stop her from telling E, that its completely up to her to tell her. But I can't guarantee that I'm ready to talk with her yet. She says it won't be immediately, she's got to work up to it. So, not only do I have to think about my feelings about talking to E, I have this anticipation from waiting thing going on too.

I can say I'm a bit nervous about it. I am envious that she got to grow up with my Mom. I am envious that she knows my Mom better than I could ever hope to know her. I feel like I'd be an infidel next to E, a second class citizen. Of course, these are only my feelings, and I have no idea how E will accept or treat me. My Mom says that E would love me.

I just don't feel ready to be introduced to her. I can't say "meet" because she lives on the other side of the country from us. I can't really describe my feelings about it because I can't put my finger on it.

What it DOES say to me is this: I have heard many instances where adoptees find their birthmother and the birthmother wants the adoptee to remain a secret because she never got around to telling her kids, much less her husband, about this secret child. My Mom seems to want to tell everyone about me. She is proud of me, and doesn't want to hide me. That in itself is enough for me.

Why am I so resistant to this? I have talked to many of my birth relatives without any hesitation. Why is she different than the others in my family? Why do I think E poses a threat to the wellbeing of my relationship with my Mom? Anyone have any clues, please chime in.

I know it means a lot to my Mom that I have a relationship with E. I know realistically that there really isn't any basis for my fears and reservations ... nonetheless, they're present. I would like to make my Mom happy and jump in with enthusiasm, but I can't betray my feelings like that. I think that would be a recipe for disaster.

Now explain this to me...

My Mom told me that she was scared to tell E, which I don't blame her. She's been holding onto some pretty important stuff here. When she told me she was scared to tell her, I instantly felt the need to help her and offer to contact E and tell her myself. I didn't offer, but I was amazed that I actually felt like helping considering how resistant I am to any contact with her.

Anyone have any advice, I'm open to suggestions. This is really plaguing me.

PLEASE NOTE: I think this is obvious, but I want to state this just in case there is any doubt in anyones mind. I searched for my Mom for almost 22 years, I found out a lot about her during that time. I have processed all the information that I have learned over the years, and I have never EVER held any resentment towards my Mom. Please don't read this post and come up with the conclusion of resentment, because I just don't have any. I have always held my Mom in the highest regard.


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In other news ... Nick and Annie and the babies are moving to Germany on January 1, for four years. We are sad to see them go, but excited for them in their new venture. We are hoping that Nick doesn't get mobilized to Iraq. That is our greatest fear. If he doesn't, the move to Germany will be a great experience.

Maria and her Mom will be going to Texas to say goodbye this week. I will be running the gym by myself, so I may not post at all from the 14th through the 19th.

When they get back from Germany, baby A will be in first grade and baby D will be in kindergarten. We are going to miss out on so much of their babyness.

Baby A

Baby B

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My Dad has a daughter, K, who just married, and heres a picture of the newlyweds.

De-lurking time !!!

I have had a few lurkers lately that have stuck around. I would like to give a shout out to the one in Silver Springs, MD and Frisco, TX (she has commented), Calgary, Alberta, Syndey Australia and I have this one that comes back periodically and the stat counter says this person is from off the coast of Africa. My daughter says it must be a whale ... I think she's right. I've got one from Rancho Cucamonga (I graduated from HS in Alta Loma). I got a few new ones from right here in Washington state, Port Orchard, Lakewood, Auburn and Gig Harbor. I have a one time show from someone who stuck around and read my entire blog, but hasn't been back yet, this person is from the Bronx. Phoenix, AZ ... Portland, Oregon (getting closer to me) ... Albia, Iowa ... Baltimore, MD ... Lima, Peru ... Philadelphia, PA. I wouldn't mind if you'd all step forward and said hi.

Of course I have my friends and family too ... Houston, TX ... Medford, OR ... Everett, WA ... Halifax, Nova Scotia ... and my own hits from me and my daughter.

Please de-lurk and introduce yourselves :-) ...

PS ... the one from Gig Harbor is puzzling me, because this person found me through a search engine. The phrase in the search engine was "losinghalfofme3" ... only someone that knew specifically about my blog would put that in. I know no one from Gig Harbor, so please step forward.

Pictures !!!

I arrived in Talent, Oregon on a cool, wet, dark Wednesday night. When I showed up at my Mom's door

I was drenched !!!

(disclaimer: that is NOT me, nor my dog)

It didn't take long before we were acting like buddies and being goofy together

We became fast friends and, more importantly, Mother and Daughter reunited

I was very sad to leave ... and I'd post my "leaving" picture, but its more grainy than the previous one. So I'll leave it to your imagination. Suffice it to say we were both sad.