Pot Pourri

I talked to a very dear old friend last night. She knew me when. When I was thin, when I was full of myself, and when I was not self conscience about my body. She was also there when I started my search for my birth mother. At the end of the conversation, I told her about my blog, so she's going to be coming here soon to read it. HI A ... 3 !!! Thank you so much for your support and kind words.

Today will be the first time this week that I won't call my mother. Which is fine ... I put the ball into her court. I told her to call me when she was ready. I'm waiting for that phone to ring. I don't think she will call soon. Not because she's taking time to think, not because she would be avoiding me, but because she will find it hard to do so.

I have my guard up still ... I'm not allowing any feelings to come forth. I need direct confirmation from her that she is going to stay in my life. She hasn't really come out and said anything, but what she has said has me believing.

My Dad is estatic. He has been so wonderful during all of this. Imagine me, thinking that he'd be jealous because maybe my mother would take some of my attention away from him. I'm glad he doesn't think that way, because I love him dearly and nothing can take me away.

I love the fact that both my mother and my Dad have warm memories for each other. That makes me feel better. I accepted that I was a product of an affair, so it didn't bother me. But its much nicer to know that they truly cared for each other.

I think I'm going to meet her around Thanksgiving. That sounds like a perfect time for me. She likes that idea as well. Gives us a bit of time to collect our thoughts. However, it also gives her enough time to change her mind.