I talked to her ...

Out of respect to my mother, I am not going to talk about what we talked about.

So I will talk about my feelings only.

I never had high expectations. One one level my expectations were exeeded. One another level, it was just about what I thought it would be like. I expected total rejection from my mother. As of right now, I don't think that is going to happen. She wants me to continue to call, but give her a while to let this all sink in. I can do that.

I feel such a sense of calm. Like all is right with my world. I told my sister today that I feel complete. That "hole" has been filled. If it ended right now, I would be satisfied. Its not what I want though. I want her in my life.

So much so that I want her to move where I live. My g/f's mother lives in an apartment complex for elderly and disabled. That would be perfect for her. It is also subsidized ... and thats perfect for her income. I don't know if she'd ever go for it, and I am not going to ask yet. I think I'll give her little tidbits of information and let her get interested before I pop the big question.

When we hung up I had a warm feeling. I feel really good about this.

Much better than last night. She didn't answer the phone at all, and I began to think she was avoiding me. Today, I don't have that feeling. I believe she wants me in her life.

I didn't ask if she wanted Tony in her life, but it sounded like it. I hope so, he's such a good guy. I am very lucky to have a brother like him.

I've rambled enough ... take care all :-)