What I expect my life to be like without surgery
This is another letter that I wrote my doctor. I'm glad that I'm posting these, it gives me a chance to reread them and make a few alterations.
A little aside ...
HI Jessie from Australia, thank you for writing. I left you a response in the comments section that you posted in.
What I expect my life to be like without the surgery.
I feel each year, I slow down a bit more. I fear in a few years, I will be in one of those scooter chairs I see on television.
Right now, my ankles get really swollen. Sometimes it spreads into my calves. My feet are small and they’re holding up all this extra weight. When I was skinny, I had a friend that would say, “your feet are so small, I’m amazed that you don’t fall flat on your face, what’s holding you up”? I used to laugh at that. Now I’m wondering how my feet are holding me up. My bones feel loose in my feet, like they’re ready to pop, like you would pop your knuckles on your fingers. I’m not sure how much longer my feet will be willing to hold me up.
Which means I feel that I will slow down much more than I am now. I’ve seen reports of people getting so obese that they have to be lifted out of the house with a crane in order to be taken to the hospital. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point, but the thought scares me.
My lower back is bowing towards my stomach, and I have a bulging disk in my lower back. Sitting for any length of time hurts, standing for any length of time hurts, and forget laying straight out with out my knees bent. I’m not sure how much longer my back is willing to hold out.
My stomach looks like I’m pregnant. With my back bowing inward, it makes me waddle. That, combined with the way my stomach looks, I think I look pregnant. I try to stand upright, and I can’t anymore. When I lean my back against the wall, I can fit my arm between the wall and my back with ease.
I don’t suppose living the way I believe my life is going will be beneficial to my daughter and her growth as a young woman. I need to be there for her to teach her how to make it in the world. If I continue like this, I have to teach her how to make it in the world without me.
I believe if I’m not dead in 10 years, I will be totally incapacitated. I won’t be able to take care of my hygiene, feeding myself or even changing my clothes. I would need someone to take care of me.
SIDEBAR:
I know that sounds drastic. Believe me, I will do anything I can to guard against becoming an invalid. I’m not sure how well my body will stand up for the battle though. I am beginning to see how the people I was referring to earlier in this post get to the point they are. I’m sure they didn’t do it on purpose. Its like you wake up one day, and you’re like this.
A little aside ...
HI Jessie from Australia, thank you for writing. I left you a response in the comments section that you posted in.
What I expect my life to be like without the surgery.
I feel each year, I slow down a bit more. I fear in a few years, I will be in one of those scooter chairs I see on television.
Right now, my ankles get really swollen. Sometimes it spreads into my calves. My feet are small and they’re holding up all this extra weight. When I was skinny, I had a friend that would say, “your feet are so small, I’m amazed that you don’t fall flat on your face, what’s holding you up”? I used to laugh at that. Now I’m wondering how my feet are holding me up. My bones feel loose in my feet, like they’re ready to pop, like you would pop your knuckles on your fingers. I’m not sure how much longer my feet will be willing to hold me up.
Which means I feel that I will slow down much more than I am now. I’ve seen reports of people getting so obese that they have to be lifted out of the house with a crane in order to be taken to the hospital. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point, but the thought scares me.
My lower back is bowing towards my stomach, and I have a bulging disk in my lower back. Sitting for any length of time hurts, standing for any length of time hurts, and forget laying straight out with out my knees bent. I’m not sure how much longer my back is willing to hold out.
My stomach looks like I’m pregnant. With my back bowing inward, it makes me waddle. That, combined with the way my stomach looks, I think I look pregnant. I try to stand upright, and I can’t anymore. When I lean my back against the wall, I can fit my arm between the wall and my back with ease.
I don’t suppose living the way I believe my life is going will be beneficial to my daughter and her growth as a young woman. I need to be there for her to teach her how to make it in the world. If I continue like this, I have to teach her how to make it in the world without me.
I believe if I’m not dead in 10 years, I will be totally incapacitated. I won’t be able to take care of my hygiene, feeding myself or even changing my clothes. I would need someone to take care of me.
SIDEBAR:
I know that sounds drastic. Believe me, I will do anything I can to guard against becoming an invalid. I’m not sure how well my body will stand up for the battle though. I am beginning to see how the people I was referring to earlier in this post get to the point they are. I’m sure they didn’t do it on purpose. Its like you wake up one day, and you’re like this.
posted by Melissa at 8:07 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home