A bit off track

My intention is to post all the information in the dossier I made for my doctor. But today its going to be a little bit different. I didn't put this in my dossier, but I think I should.

I've been reading all these stories about Lap Band and RNY. Now Lap Band is an insicion and a band to close off part of your stomach, but everything is all intact still. With RNY, the one I'm going for, hopefully laproscopically, they seperate a part of your stomach out and create a pouch that holds 3 oz. Then they rearrange your intestines so they work with the pouch because the main part of the stomach no longer is in use.

I've known this since pretty much the beginning. I wanted to know what I was up against. So I'm thinking about all of this these last couple days as I'm reading these stories. I'm not only reading success stories, but I'm reading all of them. I have to understand what I'm getting into here.

My digestive system is going to be completely overhauled. I knew this, but it was really hitting me yesterday and today. I know my life is going to change forever, and I'm not having second thoughts. I am just freaking out a bit about what they're actually going to be doing to my insides.

I was reading statistics that after 10 years, most people gain back the weight. However, those are people who've had the older type of surgeries. WLS has come far in the last 10 years. Enough time hasn't past to create statistics for the newer WLS patients.

I have no problem eating right. If I'm full, I can't eat more anyway. I'm just not sure how my "hungry brain" is going to feel when I've only eaten a couple bites and I'm done. I guess it will take time to get used to.

The exercise part will be a piece of cake to keep up. I have a gym at my disposal, so I'm not hurting there. I'm home schooling my daughter, and she's my motivating factor behind all of this, so her and I can work out together. She loves doing that with me.

So the part I've been concentrating on lately is the ripping and glueing of my stomach and intestines. I know that's a gruesome way of putting it, but that's how its feeling at this moment. I'm thinking I have to go through this though, to fully understand the scope of what I'm doing. So its not scaring me outta this surgery idea, but just a process that I need to go through.

Its making me kind of emotional lately. I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you yet Holly, but the thoughts and appreciation of your comments are there. Thank you so much for your kind words.

A little sidebar about my daughter:

She left such nice comments about the pictures of me. The last paragraph of my last post, she said brought tears to her eyes. When she said that, it was so hard for me to keep my tears from flowing.

So you know what she did? She made plans for us last night. Big plans. We were to sing, and dance and be a duet, have a concert as she calls it. She made these microphones, they are just too cool. She told me, since you don't feel like going out, we can do this inside. We can do something fun together, just the two of us. I was all for it ... she is such a sweet kid.

However, she got a phone call and she spent the night at her friends house instead, so we're going to do it tonight. You know how kids are at that age, her friends are more important. But that's okay, we'll have fun tonight.