My Mom ...
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving with lots of love and family around.
The distance I had to travel to get to my Mom's on the way down there was about 400 miles. It was the most grueling drive I've ever had. I'd driven longer distances before, however, not in such conditions. It was raining hard, so there was a lot of water on the freeway, which created a lot of spray. The freeway was bumper to bumper the way down there. So instead of going the 65 mph I wanted to drive, it was mostly anywhere between 25 and 40 mph most of the way down. I had to take two detours, one that took me a bit out of my way, the other took me a while to find it, but was great once I did. It took me almost 10.5 hours to get there.
The drive home was pretty much uneventful. It took 7 hours to get home, that tells you how trecherous the drive down was. The only thing noteable about the drive back was the flash flood that I got stuck in. Here we all were, going merrily down the freeway at 55 mph. It was raining, but nothing too spectacular. Then the heavens opened up and torrents of rain came down. The windshield wipers couldn't work fast enough, and visibility was nil. ABSOLUTELY nil. I slowed down, and I'm sure everyone else did. Many things go through your mind at a time like that. Mostly fear. Do I pull off to the side of the road? What if the person behind me runs into me because he can't see me? Is this how I'm going to die? I kept going, trying to steer as straight as I could. It probably lasted between 20-30 seconds, but it seemed like a lifetime. I was so glad when it was over. I got off the freeway on the next exit and filled the tank, stretched my legs and tried to calm my nerves. My heart was racing so fast, I thought it was going to burst.
So I guess the real reason why you're tuning in today is to see how my visit with my Mom went. I started writing this last night, and had some thoughts about my Mom already written, but I think I'm in a different frame of mind today, so I'm going to alter what I was going to say.
She gave me permission to say whatever I like about her, even what we talked about. I may, in time ... but not right now. I'm still processing a lot of the things we talked about.
I had really easy directions to her house, but it was dark and raining and I couldn't see very well and it took a while to find her complex. Then to find where she lived inside of there ... by the time I got to her place, I was drenched.
She opened her door and my heart melted. She was adorable. After I took my coat off, she held me for a long time. We finally sat down and started talking. At first, it was a little shaky ... both of us were a bit nervous. But then it settled down, and we talked and talked and talked. We spent the next four days talking. She has to be one of the most interesting people I've met in a long time. She has been to many places, mainly Japan, and has a lot to share about her experience. She's wise, very well thought out and she had me listening to her every word.
We went through this box of pictures she has, and she could tell me stories of so many of the pictures, so I learned so much about my family that I have never met. I only know of the Alviso side, but I learned more about her mother's side during this trip ... and it was all fascinating. I also saw a couple pictures of my great, great grandma who seemed to be a tiny little woman.
So now I have another name to add to my arsenal of names that I carry. Rutledge. Alviso. Harski. Douglass*. And my adoptive one that I go by now.
*Douglass isn't really associated with me in any real way. However, it was the name used when I was adopted, and it was legally the name I was given to identify me at the time I was adopted. That was my Mom's married name at that time.
A long time ago, I knew someone who said her family had class. When I first met them, I saw any other family in them. As I got to know them, I saw what she was talking about. That family had a way about them and it tied them together. I saw the "class" she spoke of, and it turned out she wasn't being conceited.
Well, I'm not being conceited when I say my Mom has class. She has a way about her that is not like most. She has her eccentricities, but that's what makes her HER. And I love her for each and every one of them. She is a neat person, so caring, funny and easy to love.
She asked me why it took me so long to find her. I told her I had to find the rock she was hiding under.
We took long walks around her town. Her town is in a valley, a very high valley approx. 1,700 ft elevation. I live at 10 ft above sea level. I am not used to being that high, and it was disconcerting for me. I felt out of my element. The mountains surround her little town (bigger than mine). They're so close its like you can reach out and touch them. The valley floor was about 200 ft below the summit of the nearest mountain. I felt like I was in a shallow bowl. My ear started draining the day after I got there, and is still draining. If it keeps this up, I'll have someone check it out for me. Its a little sore, but I don't have anymore equilibrium problems.
I know in one of my posts, or maybe three or four ... I wrote about having her move here. I saw where she's at, and if I lived where she does, I wouldn't want to move. I told her I won't talk about it anymore. Its just her safety net, and she told me the same thing. If I need to get away, her place is my safety net, I'm welcome anytime. Watch out Mom, I just might take you up on that.
She isn't very computer savvy, but she can still do enough to be dangerous. She may eventually blow up the world ... so watch out all. I worked on her computer a bit and customized it for her. I made a link to this blog for her, so I'm sure she's going to be wondering what I'm writing about her today, so this little shout out is for her ...
XOXOXO HI MOM !!! I LOVE YOU !!! XOXOXOXO
There ... I feel better now.
Now a little shift in topic. I feel kind of sad about something. My Dad is in Texas. He's a part of all of this, and it would have been really neat to have had him there too. I didn't realize he was so much a part of this until I was actually with my Mom. He wrote a few emails to us while I was there, and it just made it more clear that he belonged with us.
Him and my brother. I'm sure my Dad would've been there if he could. But my brother has been out of sight since my Mom came around. It's his Mom too ... and he is losing out. I did feel guilty about going and he didn't know anything about it. I tried emailing him, instant messaging him, but he wouldn't respond. So I'm putting it on him. He's the reason why he was left out. I absolve myself of all guilt. I just wish he'd come out of the woodwork. Hey Bro ... its not too late. Please. We want you to be involved. I love you.
Anyway ... enough of all of this ...
I live on the coast. The ocean usually makes the air around here too warm to snow. But today, we've had rain, snow and hail. Its friggin COLD !!! NS, how do you handle it ??? You can have it.
Now if it were real snow, I'd like it. But we don't get real snow here. We get ice that resembles snow. Our snow is crunchy. You can't make snow men out of it, much less snow balls. There is nothing endearing about what we get.
I hate getting back into reality ... but it sure is nice to be home.
The distance I had to travel to get to my Mom's on the way down there was about 400 miles. It was the most grueling drive I've ever had. I'd driven longer distances before, however, not in such conditions. It was raining hard, so there was a lot of water on the freeway, which created a lot of spray. The freeway was bumper to bumper the way down there. So instead of going the 65 mph I wanted to drive, it was mostly anywhere between 25 and 40 mph most of the way down. I had to take two detours, one that took me a bit out of my way, the other took me a while to find it, but was great once I did. It took me almost 10.5 hours to get there.
The drive home was pretty much uneventful. It took 7 hours to get home, that tells you how trecherous the drive down was. The only thing noteable about the drive back was the flash flood that I got stuck in. Here we all were, going merrily down the freeway at 55 mph. It was raining, but nothing too spectacular. Then the heavens opened up and torrents of rain came down. The windshield wipers couldn't work fast enough, and visibility was nil. ABSOLUTELY nil. I slowed down, and I'm sure everyone else did. Many things go through your mind at a time like that. Mostly fear. Do I pull off to the side of the road? What if the person behind me runs into me because he can't see me? Is this how I'm going to die? I kept going, trying to steer as straight as I could. It probably lasted between 20-30 seconds, but it seemed like a lifetime. I was so glad when it was over. I got off the freeway on the next exit and filled the tank, stretched my legs and tried to calm my nerves. My heart was racing so fast, I thought it was going to burst.
So I guess the real reason why you're tuning in today is to see how my visit with my Mom went. I started writing this last night, and had some thoughts about my Mom already written, but I think I'm in a different frame of mind today, so I'm going to alter what I was going to say.
She gave me permission to say whatever I like about her, even what we talked about. I may, in time ... but not right now. I'm still processing a lot of the things we talked about.
I had really easy directions to her house, but it was dark and raining and I couldn't see very well and it took a while to find her complex. Then to find where she lived inside of there ... by the time I got to her place, I was drenched.
She opened her door and my heart melted. She was adorable. After I took my coat off, she held me for a long time. We finally sat down and started talking. At first, it was a little shaky ... both of us were a bit nervous. But then it settled down, and we talked and talked and talked. We spent the next four days talking. She has to be one of the most interesting people I've met in a long time. She has been to many places, mainly Japan, and has a lot to share about her experience. She's wise, very well thought out and she had me listening to her every word.
We went through this box of pictures she has, and she could tell me stories of so many of the pictures, so I learned so much about my family that I have never met. I only know of the Alviso side, but I learned more about her mother's side during this trip ... and it was all fascinating. I also saw a couple pictures of my great, great grandma who seemed to be a tiny little woman.
So now I have another name to add to my arsenal of names that I carry. Rutledge. Alviso. Harski. Douglass*. And my adoptive one that I go by now.
*Douglass isn't really associated with me in any real way. However, it was the name used when I was adopted, and it was legally the name I was given to identify me at the time I was adopted. That was my Mom's married name at that time.
A long time ago, I knew someone who said her family had class. When I first met them, I saw any other family in them. As I got to know them, I saw what she was talking about. That family had a way about them and it tied them together. I saw the "class" she spoke of, and it turned out she wasn't being conceited.
Well, I'm not being conceited when I say my Mom has class. She has a way about her that is not like most. She has her eccentricities, but that's what makes her HER. And I love her for each and every one of them. She is a neat person, so caring, funny and easy to love.
She asked me why it took me so long to find her. I told her I had to find the rock she was hiding under.
We took long walks around her town. Her town is in a valley, a very high valley approx. 1,700 ft elevation. I live at 10 ft above sea level. I am not used to being that high, and it was disconcerting for me. I felt out of my element. The mountains surround her little town (bigger than mine). They're so close its like you can reach out and touch them. The valley floor was about 200 ft below the summit of the nearest mountain. I felt like I was in a shallow bowl. My ear started draining the day after I got there, and is still draining. If it keeps this up, I'll have someone check it out for me. Its a little sore, but I don't have anymore equilibrium problems.
I know in one of my posts, or maybe three or four ... I wrote about having her move here. I saw where she's at, and if I lived where she does, I wouldn't want to move. I told her I won't talk about it anymore. Its just her safety net, and she told me the same thing. If I need to get away, her place is my safety net, I'm welcome anytime. Watch out Mom, I just might take you up on that.
She isn't very computer savvy, but she can still do enough to be dangerous. She may eventually blow up the world ... so watch out all. I worked on her computer a bit and customized it for her. I made a link to this blog for her, so I'm sure she's going to be wondering what I'm writing about her today, so this little shout out is for her ...
XOXOXO HI MOM !!! I LOVE YOU !!! XOXOXOXO
There ... I feel better now.
Now a little shift in topic. I feel kind of sad about something. My Dad is in Texas. He's a part of all of this, and it would have been really neat to have had him there too. I didn't realize he was so much a part of this until I was actually with my Mom. He wrote a few emails to us while I was there, and it just made it more clear that he belonged with us.
Him and my brother. I'm sure my Dad would've been there if he could. But my brother has been out of sight since my Mom came around. It's his Mom too ... and he is losing out. I did feel guilty about going and he didn't know anything about it. I tried emailing him, instant messaging him, but he wouldn't respond. So I'm putting it on him. He's the reason why he was left out. I absolve myself of all guilt. I just wish he'd come out of the woodwork. Hey Bro ... its not too late. Please. We want you to be involved. I love you.
Anyway ... enough of all of this ...
I live on the coast. The ocean usually makes the air around here too warm to snow. But today, we've had rain, snow and hail. Its friggin COLD !!! NS, how do you handle it ??? You can have it.
Now if it were real snow, I'd like it. But we don't get real snow here. We get ice that resembles snow. Our snow is crunchy. You can't make snow men out of it, much less snow balls. There is nothing endearing about what we get.
I hate getting back into reality ... but it sure is nice to be home.
posted by Melissa at 10:06 PM
2 Comments:
I just found your blog. It is so interesting b/c I too was adopted and will be turning 40 next year. I live in Texas... maybe not too far from your birthfather??? I located both of my birthparents many years ago and it has been an interesting journey.
Congratulations on locating your mom. What an exciting time for you.
Her home looks beautiful!
I love the mountains too -
Yes, the cold takes some getting used to, I can attest to that!
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