Hodge Podge

I only had two real posts from my other blog. I decided to close it down, I just like working with blogspot so much better. So this one is one of the posts.





I started out writing my original blog on Weight Loss Surgery (WLS). Since there wasn’t much to talk about because not much is happening with that right now, that’s where the “and More” comes in.
On Sept 20, I received an email from my birthmother. Since then, we have talked numerous times on the phone, for long periods of time. She is my mother in every sense of the word. We clicked right away, and I can’t imagine how I lived my life so long without her. She is simply an amazing person. She has been through so much hardship in her life, and she has perservered where others would not. I feel my life, my inner being, has been transformed. My heart is at peace knowing that she is alright. I am filled with emotion because she wants to be my mother.
Some would say, a little too late … not me. She relinquished me for good reason, and I understood that long before her and I met. I had already come to terms about being adopted years ago, so I don’t have any lingering resentment. As much as I welcome her into my life, she has done the same. We were both pretty hesitant to open our hearts to each other, for fear of rejection, but we have done that now. We have both spoken our desire to live fully in each others lives.
Here we are working on our second month of knowing each other, and its still so new, still so exciting for both of us. The other day we were on the phone and she was telling me a bit about her youth and indescretions, two things to be exact. So when she was done, she told me it was my turn to tell her two things about myself. She didn’t realize she was going to say that until she did, and I told her I was game. She told me she’d give me a couple days to think about it, but I was ready to play right then.
I told her of one indescretion I had when I was younger. The other thing I told her about was my sexual orientation. Her response??? “WOW … how fascinating. I never knew anyone like that before !!!” She was very accepting of it, and still is.
When I came out of the closet at 18 years old, I told all my family members. I told everyone along the way as I slowly found my birthfamily. I had no intention of keeping this from her. I felt like I could never be truly open and honest with her about whats going on in my life with this being a major part of who I am and how I live my life. I felt it would be a huge lie. I had set myself up for rejection, yet again. I expected her to hang up on me. I expected to never lay eyes on her. I was so afraid.
Here we are post announcement, and she is wonderful. I never thought I would get to the point where I would feel in my heart the true feeling of love for a mother, and now I have that. I love my Mom. She has filled something in me that I never thought would be filled.
Okay … enough of this sappiness. I’m sorry, but this is what has been happening since I went on haitus.
During the interim, I have been trying to figure out how to import my old blog here, but its not happening, so I decided to just start the blog anyways because I wanted to scream this from the rooftops.